15 Behaviors You Should Avoid If You Want To Be A Good Listener

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Avoid Multitasking

One of the critical behaviors to avoid if you want to be a good listener is multitasking. When you try to engage in multiple activities while someone is speaking to you, it can lead to distraction and hinder your ability to truly listen and understand what is being communicated. By focusing on only one task at a time, you can give the speaker your full attention, showing respect and enhancing your listening skills.

Avoid Interrupting

Interrupting the speaker is another behavior that should be avoided if you want to be a good listener. Constantly interjecting with your thoughts or opinions can disrupt the flow of the conversation and make the speaker feel unheard. By allowing the speaker to finish their thoughts before responding, you demonstrate patience and respect, creating a more constructive dialogue.

Avoid Judging

Avoiding judgment is essential in being a good listener. When you judge the speaker or their words, you are not fully open to understanding their perspective. Instead, strive to listen with an open mind and without preconceived notions. By practicing empathy and suspending judgment, you create a supportive environment for communication and deeper connection.

Avoid Offering Unsolicited Advice

Offering unsolicited advice can be detrimental to effective listening. Instead of immediately jumping in with solutions, focus on empathizing with the speaker’s feelings and experiences. Show that you value their perspective by actively listening without rushing to provide fixes or recommendations, fostering a sense of trust and understanding.

Avoid Formulating Responses

Formulating responses in your mind while the speaker is talking can cause you to miss important details and nuances in their message. Practice active listening by being fully present in the moment and responding thoughtfully. By giving the speaker your undivided attention and processing their words before reacting, you demonstrate genuine interest and engagement.

Avoid Distractions

Distractions such as smartphones, laptops, or other external stimuli can hinder your ability to be a good listener. Create a distraction-free environment and give your full attention to the speaker. By eliminating distractions and maintaining eye contact and attentive body language, you signal to the speaker that their words are valued and respected.

Avoid Daydreaming

Daydreaming or letting your mind wander while someone is speaking can signal disinterest and lack of engagement. Stay focused on the speaker’s words and non-verbal cues to demonstrate active listening. By actively engaging with the speaker through verbal and non-verbal cues, you convey attentiveness and show that you are fully present in the conversation.

Avoid Being Preoccupied

Being preoccupied with your own thoughts or concerns can prevent you from fully engaging with the speaker. Practice mindfulness and set aside your own agenda to be a present listener. By actively clearing your mind of distractions and focusing on the speaker’s words, you create a space for meaningful dialogue and understanding to flourish.

Avoid Making Assumptions

Making assumptions about the speaker’s intentions or feelings can lead to misunderstandings. Instead, ask clarifying questions and seek to truly understand the speaker’s perspective. By actively listening and seeking clarification when needed, you demonstrate a commitment to understanding the speaker’s viewpoint without imposing your own assumptions, fostering a more open and inclusive conversation.

Avoid Finishing Sentences

Finishing the speaker’s sentences or assuming you know what they are going to say can be dismissive and disrespectful. Allow the speaker to express themselves fully without interruptions. By patiently allowing the speaker to articulate their thoughts without jumping in, you show respect for their autonomy and create a space for their ideas to be fully expressed.

Avoid Changing the Subject

Changing the subject abruptly can derail the conversation and show a lack of interest in the speaker’s message. Stay focused on the current topic and show respect for the speaker’s thoughts. By staying attentive to the speaker’s cues and maintaining focus on the topic at hand, you demonstrate genuine interest and a willingness to engage deeply in the conversation.

Avoid Being Defensive

Being defensive in your responses can shut down communication and hinder effective listening. Practice active listening by acknowledging the speaker’s feelings and perspective without becoming defensive. By maintaining an open and non-judgmental stance, you create a safe space for open dialogue and honest communication to thrive.

Avoid Dominating the Conversation

Dominating the conversation by constantly talking about yourself or your experiences can signal a lack of interest in the speaker. Take turns speaking and listening to create a balanced dialogue. By actively sharing the conversational spotlight and allowing the speaker equal opportunity to express themselves, you promote a collaborative and respectful communication dynamic.

Avoid Reacting Emotionally

Reacting emotionally to the speaker’s words can cloud your judgment and prevent you from truly understanding their message. Practice empathy and stay composed to be a good listener. By demonstrating emotional intelligence and controlling your reactions, you show that you are attuned to the speaker’s emotions and committed to understanding their message with compassion and clarity.

Avoid Impatience

Impatience can manifest as fidgeting, glancing at your watch, or interrupting the speaker. Cultivate patience and give the speaker the time and space they need to express themselves fully. By practicing patience and allowing the speaker the necessary time to convey their thoughts, you exhibit respect and create an environment conducive to meaningful and insightful communication.

Franck Saebring

A family man and writer, Franck is passionate about anything tech and science-related.