Why Is Sharing Difficult for Children and How Can You Teach It?
Sharing is a fundamental social skill that children need to develop as they grow. However, many children struggle with sharing due to various reasons. Let’s delve deeper into these reasons and explore practical strategies to help children overcome their challenges with sharing. Young children are often egocentric and have difficulty understanding the perspectives and needs of others. This is a natural part of their developmental stage and can make sharing challenging as they prioritize their own desires over others. Teaching children to empathize and consider others’ feelings can help them overcome this hurdle. For instance, engaging them in role-playing games where they take on different characters can provide a fun and interactive way to understand diverse perspectives. Understanding that young children are still learning to navigate their emotions and social interactions can provide valuable insights into their challenges with sharing. By guiding children through activities that promote empathy and perspective-taking, parents and caregivers can facilitate the development of their sharing skills.
Understanding Developmental Stages
Children’s cognitive development plays a significant role in their ability to share. Before the age of three, most children are in a phase where they see the world primarily from their viewpoint. This egocentrism is a normal part of development and gradually changes as children grow. Around ages four to five, children begin to develop a theory of mind, the understanding that others have thoughts and feelings different from their own. At this stage, children can start to grasp the concept of sharing not just as a rule to follow but as a way to connect with others.
Activities to Encourage Empathy
One effective method to develop empathy is through storytelling. Reading books that depict characters facing dilemmas where they need to share or cooperate can open up discussions about emotions and perspectives. For example, books like “The Rainbow Fish” by Marcus Pfister highlight themes of sharing and selflessness. After reading, parents can ask questions like, “How do you think the character felt when they shared?” or “What would you do in that situation?”
Ownership and Control
Children may see their toys and possessions as extensions of themselves, leading to possessiveness and reluctance to share. Encouraging a sense of community and collaboration can shift their mindset from ownership to shared experiences. Parents can engage children in activities that emphasize the joy and benefits of sharing, such as group projects or games that require cooperation. For example, building a fort as a team or creating a collaborative art project can illustrate how shared efforts lead to enjoyable outcomes. By creating a shared family culture that values collaboration and mutual respect, children can learn to view their belongings as tools for connection rather than sources of individualistic pride.
The Role of Ownership
To help children understand the concept of ownership and sharing, parents can introduce the idea of “special” versus “shared” items. Special items are those that a child can choose not to share, while shared items are for communal use. This approach respects a child’s need for autonomy while gently encouraging sharing. Setting up a “sharing shelf” with toys designated for everyone can also be a practical way to implement this strategy.
Encouraging Collaboration
Parents can use everyday situations to teach collaboration. Cooking together, where each child has a specific task, can be an excellent way to practice cooperation. Children learn that their contributions are valuable, and the end result—a delicious meal—can only be achieved through teamwork. Similarly, gardening projects, where children plant seeds and tend to them together, can foster a sense of shared responsibility and pride in joint achievements.
Social Pressure
Peer influence and societal norms can also impact a child’s willingness to share. Children may fear judgment or rejection if they give away their belongings. Creating a safe and supportive environment where sharing is encouraged without judgment can alleviate this pressure. Parents and educators can foster a sense of inclusivity and acceptance by setting positive examples of sharing and highlighting the rewards of cooperation. By emphasizing the importance of kindness and generosity over material possessions, adults can help children feel more secure in their social interactions and confident in their ability to share with others.
Managing Social Dynamics
Children often look to adults and peers to learn social norms. Modeling inclusive behavior can significantly impact a child’s willingness to share. During playdates or group activities, parents can model sharing by offering to share snacks or toys and verbally acknowledging when children share with each other. Positive reinforcement, such as praise or a small reward, can also motivate children to share more willingly.
Teaching Strategies
Modeling sharing behavior, praising and rewarding acts of generosity, and providing opportunities for cooperative play can all foster a positive attitude towards sharing. Consistent reinforcement and gentle guidance are key in helping children understand the value of sharing and its impact on building relationships. Parents can teach sharing as a form of social currency that enriches friendships and strengthens bonds. By incorporating sharing into daily routines and interactions, children can internalize the concept of reciprocity and experience firsthand the joy of giving to others.
Practical Tips for Parents
- Set Up Regular Playdates: Allow children to interact with peers in a controlled environment where they can practice sharing with guidance.
- Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise children when they share, highlighting how their actions made others feel.
- Lead by Example: Demonstrate sharing in your daily life. Whether it’s sharing food at the dinner table or lending a hand to a neighbor, children learn by observing.
- Create Sharing Opportunities: Involve children in activities that naturally require sharing, such as board games or team sports.
- Discuss Feelings: Encourage children to talk about their feelings after sharing. Understanding their emotions can help address any reluctance they might have.
Overcoming Common Challenges
Despite best efforts, there will be times when children resist sharing. Understanding and addressing these challenges can make a significant difference.
Addressing Reluctance
If a child is particularly attached to a specific item, it might help to discuss why that item is special. This conversation can lead to compromises, like setting time limits on how long they can hold onto the item before sharing. Alternatively, parents can introduce “sharing tokens” that children can earn and use as a currency to “buy” more time with a beloved toy.
Dealing with Conflicts
Conflicts over sharing are inevitable. When they arise, it’s crucial to mediate calmly. Encourage children to express their feelings and help them find a resolution. This could involve taking turns or finding a substitute toy. The key is to teach problem-solving skills that empower children to resolve conflicts independently in the future.
Long-Term Benefits of Sharing
Teaching children to share goes beyond just preventing conflicts; it lays the foundation for a lifetime of social success. Children who learn to share are often more empathetic, have stronger friendships, and possess better communication skills.
Building Emotional Intelligence
Sharing helps children develop emotional intelligence by teaching them to recognize and respond to the needs and emotions of others. This skill is invaluable and contributes to their ability to form meaningful relationships throughout their lives.
Concluding Thoughts
While sharing can be a challenging concept for children to grasp, with patience and consistent guidance, they can learn to appreciate its value. By understanding the developmental stages, fostering empathy, and creating environments that encourage collaboration and kindness, parents and caregivers can equip children with the skills they need to become generous and considerate individuals.
Remember, the goal is not just to teach children to share their toys but to instill a mindset of generosity that will serve them well throughout their lives. Whether through structured activities or everyday interactions, every moment can be a teaching opportunity.
