Both in love and in friendship, relationships should remain healthy. The right relationship is one that allow you to grow, to be fulfilled, and to be happy.
Indeed, love and relationships can either bring mutual growth and happiness, or be overwhelming and crippling after a while. All relationships serve a purpose, whether you stick with someone for a few weeks or for a lifetime.
Any relationship should support, love, encourage, uplift, and challenge you to be a better person, not drain your energy and make you feel bad.
Romantic relationships are only possible when each partner takes a step towards the other. In this journey, everyone is called to make concessions, compromises in the name of the common interest which is the relationship that is being built. If you find someone who allows you to be yourself, keep them. And yet, if you have to sacrifice any of the following, the relationship isn’t the right one for you.
Your family and friends
For some reason you cannot explain yet, your partner seems to always have a bone to pick with the people close to you. He or she wants to forbid you of seeing your them. He or she talks ill of them constantly and gets mad at you when you want to hang out with them. They are literally persona non grata in your house.
While it is true that the exhilaration of living together may be enough for you for a while, but it will not be enough for life. You need to maintain a social life to truly feel happy, you have to nurture your personal and your family relationships. These are the people who have known you almost always.
Unless they have done something bad enough to make you realize that you really need to cut ties, don’t walk away from friends and family for someone. If someone asks you to do it, it’s perhaps best to walk away from them.
When your partner tries to change your values by criticizing your views or ridiculing your beliefs, they may not be the right person for you.
You can believe in whatever you want, even in unicorns if you want! No one has the right on this earth to force you to believe in anything.
In a relationship, you have to be able to respect each other’s values and if that is not possible, you may not be with the right person. However, a couple where the two partners do not share the same beliefs can nonetheless prosper if there is mutual respect.
Your personal projects
An ideal relationship is made up of two people who have the same mission, the same goals who support each other every step of the way, or just two people who have different dreams, but always encourage and applaud the other person.
If the person you’re with isn’t on the same path as you, and deride your own, do not hesitate to let them go. What you want in life is a big part of who you are, you don’t need someone who rejects or denigrates your goals.
Your inner peace
Isn’t the primary goal of all relationships happiness? Inner peace is an important part of this happiness. What’s the point of staying with a partner who makes you feel anxious, nervous, or depressed?
If you spend most of your time arguing, it might be time to ask yourself the following questions: Is the relationship a two-way street? Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life? Does he/she make me happy? Do I make him/her happy? Is it really worth continuing?
Your partner should give you a deep sense of soothing love that makes you forget about the chaos around you. If you are anxious, nervous, or angry most of the time, this will only weaken your own vibration and make you more vulnerable to negative energy. Your partner should be at peace with themselves, and reflect it on you as well.
In the eyes of your partner, you are never good enough. Never good enough for this, never good enough for that. They say they chose you, but you feel like they are trying to turn you into someone else. Is it love if they are not happy with the person you are? A fulfilling relationship begins with the ability of being yourself. If you feel like you have to lose your personality to be with them, it might be time to walk out. You will never be happy trying to be someone else.
This situation is of course not to be confused with the attitude of a partner who pushes you to improve yourself and to let go of the negative traits of your personality.
Your relationship is a bit of a prison; you are no longer allowed to do much on your own. All your decisions depend on the endorsement of your partner. Even when you lived with your parents as minor, the control was never at this level. It might be time to call it quit.
If your partner is constantly in control of what you do, or make you feel guilty for going out with friends or family, it shows that he or she is lacking in self-confidence. Often times people who are insecure tend to be possessive, and there is nothing you can do to help them.
Behavioral control suggests that the person is uncomfortable with themselves, and this really needs to be resolved before committing to a long-term relationship. So, even if you feel love and compassion towards this person, you must limit contact with them in order for them to heal.
If your partner is pulling you down and making you feel miserable, then it’s time to go. You need someone who matches your vibration and will bring vibrant energy into your life, not someone who drains your energy.
Never forget that you have the right to be happy. Some times will be more difficult than others, but your partner should be a source of happiness and joy in your life. When that important person constantly makes you feel bad or sad, there is something unhealthy about the relationship.
If someone isn’t improving your life and adding joy to your life, then what is the purpose of your relationship?
Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Both members of the couple should be able to listen to and understand each other’s opinions and feelings, without judging them. If you are partner rejects your feelings, or call you a whiner when you express them, they may not be the right person for you.
Erica is an experienced nurse working in the central Florida area. She focuses on subjects related to pregnancy and infant health. She is a mother of two with hobbies ranging from dancing to playing the piano.