We often think about what we should be doing to be happier, but why not instead ask ourselves what should we stop doing? Here are 17 things that happy people never do.
Caring about what others think about them
If you are always looking for the approval of those around you, you will never be satisfied. While it’s great to be rated positively by others, you won’t find real satisfaction in always caring about their feedback. When you free yourself from the expectations of others, you will finally be able to trust yourself.
It’s also good to remember that the people who really love you will accept you for who you really are. These are your real friends and family. Losing energy for someone who can’t love you isn’t worth it.
And remember, until you accept yourself as you are, you cannot truly love yourself. To be happy is above all to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to?
Striving for perfection
Striving for perfection at all costs is a recipe for unhappiness. Perfectionists are never satisfied, they judge themselves the hardest, and tend to put things off until the next day for fear of doing it wrong. To be happy, it is better to stop wanting to be perfect!
Neglecting their health
Being happy and being healthy go hand in hand. Getting enough sleep, exercising, eating healthy, taking time for yourself and relaxing are a recipe for happiness. Taking care of your health fuels the virtuous circle of happiness.
Minding the business of others
Do you constantly focus on what other people are doing? Do you watch your neighbors through your windows, spy on your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend online, or worry about what your competing businesses are doing?
If so, you are probably too involved in other people’s lives. When you worry too much about what other people are doing, you are going to fill your life with toxic drama and negativity that isn’t even about you. When you focus on your own life, you can lead a more positive existence. Plus, no one likes to have other people digging into their life. So don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want to be done to you.
Unfairly blaming others for their failures
One of the hardest things you realize when you grow up is that you most likely won’t live the life you dreamed of as a child. When we are young, we are taught that you can do or be anything. But things don’t always turn out the way we envisioned. After becoming an adult, we quickly find out that we are more likely to be buried under a mess of bills than to fly to the moon.
Happy people learn to accept a change in perspective and the fact that they can’t do everything they dreamed of growing up. We are limited by when and where we were born. While there are many things we can change, there are many that we cannot change.
Some people instead of understanding this fact of life will find a way to blame others for their failures. They will blame their parents, their siblings, their employers and co-workers instead of taking responsibility. Happy people do not do that.
Instead, they look for ways to make their dreams come true, but accept that they are not in control of everything that happens to them and that it is not always their fault when they fail.
Happy people focus on the positive. Complaining, rehashing, gossiping and criticizing others only feeds problems and negative feelings. Focusing on the positive side of things rather than the negative, without turning a blind eye, is key to emotional well-being.
You should not forget the bad things that have been done to you and you should never accept the cruel actions or injustices of others. But you can and should let go of the pain, anger, and resentment that you carry inside.
A grudge is like a heavy stone weighing you down forever, until you release it you will never feel truly free. Happy people learn to let go and forgive others just for the sake of their own happiness.
Living in the past
While there is nothing wrong with remembering things from the past, there is nothing positive about living in the past. It’s a good thing to reflect on the good times you had and even dwell on your losses and regrets.
While we need to approach our path to the future using our experiences, we cannot live in the past or resurrect it. Happy people never try it. They live in the present. When the present is not ideal, they live with hopes for a better future without clinging to memories of what has happened.
Staying in toxic situations or relationships
Commitment is a great thing, but not when it comes at the expense of your happiness, integrity, and well-being. Happy people never stay in situations they know are toxic to them.
They will get out of a bad apartment, a bad neighborhood, a bad relationships, and a bad businesses even if it means taking a risk or breaking a deal. They know that no form of self-sacrifice is noble. Some are quite simply self-destructive.
Wanting to control everything
By wanting to master everything, we run the risk of losing our grip completely when things escape us, and they inevitably escape us! Some things are just not under our control. Let’s let go!
Saying “yes” to everything
Happy people know how to say “no” and “stop” to what they don’t or no longer want. They know how to protect themselves from harmful people, situations and environments and know themselves well enough to know what they can and cannot accept.
Numerous studies in positive psychology have shown that altruism makes you happy! Doing a good deed, making others happy, making people smile, acting selflessly, makes ourselves and others happier.
Buying their happiness
Happy people have a healthy view of the joy that material possessions might bring them. They do not need to buy material goods (or even people) to achieve their happiness. Obviously, it’s fine to spoil yourself from time to time, but always do it for the right reasons.
Expensive things can make us happy momentarily, but they certainly don’t bring happiness for the long term. Truly happy people know that happiness does not come from others or from things but from the inside.
The unhappiness lies in the gap between what we already have and what we think we should have. But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire much more and can, in the vast majority of the time, be content with what we already have.
Neglecting their sleep
Insufficient rest is often synonymous with a bad mood and in the long run, leads to its share of health problems. So to be happy, you need take care of your sleep! On average, an adult needs 6 to 8 hours of sleep to be in good shape. While this number varies, what matters is the quality of sleep and respect for your own rhythm.
Lying to themselves
The quest for happiness involves taking some hard decisions. Indeed, it is best to accept certain truths and face them, knowing that life involves some degree of pain, sadness, anger, loss and fear.
We must realize that everyone has the right to happiness. Good things are worth fighting for. Happiness has nothing to do with ease or comfort.
Really happy people realize this and refuse to live a lie, no matter how easy it is. They know that making a difficult choice to be true to oneself is worth it. This is the only way to find true friends and family who love them, for whom they are truly important, and to lead meaningful lives.
Comparing themselves to others
People who know happiness never compare themselves to others. Why? Simply because they know how unique they are. Comparing yourself to others is the surest way to sabotage your confidence and self-esteem. You are unique; never forget it.
When you constantly compare your life, accomplishments, relationships and possessions to other people, it will seem like the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Keep in mind that you never have a complete view of other people’s existence. No matter how wonderful the life of your friend or neighbor looks, chances are, there is something amazing that you have that they envy you for.
For more information on what you can do to stop comparing yourself to others, please read our article on the subject.