Fear of school (the reason why your child may refuse to go to school)

The fear of school, often known as school phobia, is defined as an illogical fear of going to school, that is, a fear that arises for no apparent cause, of getting on the school ground. As a consequence, students affected by this phobia are unable to pass the gate of their school on a physical and psychological level. It is critical to provide children who are suffering from it with psychological follow-up in order to help them recuperate. Fear of school refers to a circumstance in which a kid or adolescent expresses an illogical fear of going to school and refuses to go. This pathological state is not classified as a disease by the World Health Organization. However, the symptoms are similar to those of people with severe anxiety. This disorder often results in the child’s expulsion from school as well as social isolation. When faced with this predicament, parents are often unable to intervene. Fear of school should not be confused with the circumstance in which a kid drops out of school owing to demotivation, indifference, or some other difficulty, but is still physically able to enter the establishment normally. It is important to understand that school fear is absolutely beyond the child’s control. Typically, the child wants to attend school but is unable to do so due to a variety of factors. The reasons for this condition are many and as diverse as the number of persons who suffer from it.

Fear of School Symptoms

Fear of school does not strike abruptly but rather develops gradually. It often starts with tears on the first day of school, a knot in the stomach on Monday morning, or headaches on Sunday evening or after returning from vacation. A nasty comment from a teacher, the loss of a loved one, a scenario of bullying, or any other triggering event might cause this condition to appear, reactivating the anxiety that had been dormant before. After a while, this fear transforms into a phobia of the school environment, and the youngster is no longer able to access the school grounds.

Physical Symptoms

  • Pain in the abdomen: Often, this is one of the first physical signs that parents notice. It can start as a slight discomfort and escalate into severe pain that makes the child believe they are physically unwell.
  • Headaches: Stress-induced headaches can become frequent and debilitating, often leading to further anxiety about school attendance.
  • Vomiting: In extreme cases, the anxiety can lead to nausea and vomiting, especially on school days.
  • Disruptions of sleeping patterns: Children may experience insomnia or nightmares, leading to fatigue and decreased ability to cope with stress during the day.

Psychological Symptoms

  • Panic attacks: Sudden, intense episodes of fear and anxiety can occur, often resulting in crying spells or hyperventilation.
  • Depression: Prolonged school phobia can lead to feelings of hopelessness and sadness, sometimes causing a child to withdraw from all social activities.

Diagnostic

The diagnosis of the fear of school is straightforward. Indeed, the symptoms and the environments in which they manifest themselves are quite indicative. However, what is more difficult for health professionals is identifying and understanding the processes of this school phobia in order to tailor the treatment they provide.

Who is Affected by School Phobias?

You should know that fear of school affects both good and bad students and can be triggered by a variety of circumstances. Keep in mind that some children suffer from learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, dysphasia, or even dyspraxia. If these have not been spotted early enough, the child is then likely to suddenly develop a fear related to the matter in which the disorder is manifesting. Thus, the dyslexic will be afraid of dictations while the dyscalculic will be afraid of mathematics tests. This is not a generalized fear of school. The child will be able to go to school normally and may experience the fear only in triggering situations.

Treatment

Like all other phobias, the fear of going to school is a legitimate psychiatric disorder that needs professional evaluation and treatment. In an ideal situation, treatment would begin as soon as possible and would be based on psychotherapy. The latter requires great family involvement in conjunction with school resources. In the most extreme circumstances, such as when a kid has been absent from school for many months, hospitalization in a child psychiatric facility may be required.

Types of Treatment

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This approach helps children understand their fear and teaches them coping strategies. For example, a psychologist might work with a child to gradually face their fear in a controlled way—starting with imagining going to school, then visiting the school without attending classes, and so on.
  • Family therapy: Involvement of family members can help address any dynamics at home that might be contributing to the child’s anxiety.
  • Medication: In some cases, doctors might prescribe anti-anxiety medication to help manage symptoms while other therapies take effect. However, medication is usually considered a last resort.

How to React if Your Child Has a Fear of School

Refusal to go to school can happen at any time. If this happens to your child, here is what you can do to help them get through this difficult time.

Insist That Your Child Goes to School

Don’t think their anxiety will go away on its own. Encourage them to face their fears while reassuring them. Let them know that it is normal to have fears, that they are able to face them, and that you are there for them. Team up with their teacher to be your ally in this situation.

Get to Know Your Child’s Fears

Try to determine the cause of your child’s fear of school and help them recognize their emotions. Ask them questions, without pushing too hard, but stay tuned. It is important not to make fun of them and not to deny their fears. Do not hesitate to contact their teacher if you need more explanation to elucidate the nature of the problem.

Make Time for Them to Discuss Their Fear

Set a time in the day when they can talk to you about their fears. Invite them to respect this moment, and take the opportunity to reassure them. By offering this opportunity to your child, you allow them to express their fears without them invading their daily life. Then help them find solutions.

Help Them Relax

Help them find ways to relax and deal with their emotions and stress. If all risk of illness has been ruled out, don’t give too much importance to their complaints about physical ailments.

  • Breathing exercises: Teach them simple breathing techniques to calm their anxiety when it starts to rise.
  • Mindfulness practices: Encourage activities like yoga or meditation that promote relaxation and stress reduction.

Encourage Positive Thoughts

Try to target negative thoughts with them and help them replace them with positive ones. For example, you can take a piece of paper on which you will write down what your child can do that is fun at school (e.g., learning new things, making new friends, playing new games). You can also help them change the way they think. For example, for a child who says that they are afraid of not doing anything, you can get them to verbalize instead that it is important to do the best you can.

Praise Their Success

Praise your child when they are successful in facing their fear of school. Tell them you are proud of them. Another way to encourage them is to establish a positive reinforcement system by giving them, for example, a ball or a sticky note whenever they are ready to go to school on time. They can then exchange them for a privilege.

Try to Stay Calm

If you show anxiety, stress, or frustration, you may make your child even more anxious.

Be Assertive

When you talk to them about school, be assertive and don’t leave room for doubt. Say, for example, “Get ready for school,” rather than “Are you ready for school?”. Use “when” instead of “if”.

Avoid Making Staying Home Fun

If they are unable to go to school, make some rules and stay firm so you don’t make the day at home inviting. Do not allow television, video games, or any other pleasurable activity. Make them do homework.

Common Mistakes Parents Make

  • Ignoring the Problem: Hoping it will go away without intervention can exacerbate the issue. Early recognition and action are crucial.
  • Punishing the Child: Punitive measures can increase anxiety and make the school environment seem even more daunting.
  • Bribing Without Understanding: While rewards can be helpful, they should not replace understanding the root of the fear.

Case Studies

Case Study 1: Emily

Emily, a 10-year-old with a fear of school, started showing signs after a change in her family’s situation. Her parents separated, and Emily’s grades began to slip. Her mother noticed Emily complaining of stomachaches on school days. After seeking professional help, Emily was diagnosed with school phobia. Through family therapy and a gradual reintroduction to school, Emily began attending classes regularly after six months.

Case Study 2: Jake

Jake, an 8-year-old with a learning disability, was terrified of math class. His fear was so intense that he would hide in his room to avoid going to school. With the help of his teacher and a special education consultant, Jake’s lessons were adapted to suit his learning style, which significantly reduced his fear over time.

Additional Strategies for Schools

  • Teacher Training: Educators can benefit from training in recognizing and supporting students with school phobia.
  • Peer Support Programs: Creating buddy systems or peer support groups can help children feel more connected and less isolated.
  • Flexible School Schedules: For some children, a flexible schedule that allows for gradual acclimatization to the school environment can be beneficial.

Conclusion

Understanding and addressing the fear of school requires patience, empathy, and a multi-faceted approach. By creating a supportive environment both at home and school, children can gradually overcome their fears and learn to enjoy their educational experiences.

Avatar photo

Elena Mars

Elena Mars is a storyteller at heart, weaving words into pieces that captivate and inspire. Her writing reflects her curious nature and love for discovering the extraordinary in the ordinary. When Elena isn’t writing, she’s likely stargazing, sketching ideas for her next adventure, or hunting for hidden gems in local bookstores.

More from Elena Mars