Pregnancy is a time of significant physical and emotional changes, which can sometimes lead to sexual discomfort. While some women experience an increase in sexual desire, others may find intimacy uncomfortable or even painful. Hormonal changes, weight gain, a growing belly, and emotional stress can all contribute to these feelings. Fortunately, there are several strategies that can help reduce discomfort and support a healthy and enjoyable intimate relationship during pregnancy.

If you or your partner are experiencing sexual discomfort, there are various ways to manage it while preserving closeness and intimacy. Below are 15 expert tips and recommendations to help you navigate intimacy during pregnancy comfortably and effectively.

1. Communicate Openly with Your Partner

Open communication is the foundation of any healthy sexual relationship, especially during pregnancy. Speak openly and honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling—physically and emotionally. If you’re experiencing discomfort or pain during sex, let your partner know. Discuss your preferences, desires, and any changes in your body or mood. Understanding and empathy are crucial for maintaining intimacy, and discussing any discomfort openly can help alleviate tension and foster a stronger connection between you and your partner. Expressing both your needs and limitations will allow your partner to better support you, and together, you can find ways to adapt and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.

2. Experiment with Different Positions

As your belly grows and your body changes, certain sexual positions may become uncomfortable or even painful. It’s important to experiment with different positions to find what feels best. Many pregnant women find that positions where there is less pressure on the abdomen, such as side-lying or spooning, can be more comfortable. In these positions, you and your partner can still enjoy intimacy without placing too much strain on your body. Additionally, try positions that allow you to control the depth and pace of penetration, such as the woman on top or seated positions. Flexibility and creativity in the bedroom will help you both enjoy sex without discomfort.

3. Use Lubrication

Hormonal changes during pregnancy, particularly in the first and third trimesters, can cause vaginal dryness, which may lead to discomfort during sex. Using a water-based lubricant can help reduce friction and make intercourse more pleasurable. Lubricants create a smoother, more comfortable experience, especially if dryness is contributing to discomfort. Ensure you use pregnancy-safe lubricants, avoiding those with harsh chemicals or fragrances. Apply a generous amount and reapply as necessary to keep both you and your partner comfortable.

4. Take Things Slowly

Pregnancy often requires a slower, more deliberate approach to intimacy. Taking your time during foreplay and intercourse can help you feel more relaxed, reducing the likelihood of discomfort. Gentle touch, slow movements, and extended foreplay can help you ease into the experience and make it more enjoyable. If you’re feeling tired or experiencing discomfort, take breaks, shift positions, or pause when needed. Listen to your body and allow the experience to be guided by comfort rather than pressure or expectations. By slowing things down, you can increase the pleasure and reduce any pain or tension.

5. Stay Hydrated

Staying well-hydrated during pregnancy is important for many aspects of health, including sexual comfort. Dehydration can exacerbate vaginal dryness and lead to discomfort during intercourse. Be sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep your body well-hydrated. In addition to drinking water, eating water-rich foods like fruits and vegetables can also help. Hydration supports overall well-being, and by keeping your body hydrated, you can reduce one of the common causes of sexual discomfort.

6. Incorporate Gentle Massage

Physical touch doesn’t always have to lead directly to intercourse. Gentle massage can be a soothing way to connect physically with your partner without the pressure of penetrative sex. Massaging each other with warm oils can help relieve tension, promote relaxation, and increase feelings of intimacy. A light, relaxing massage can also help you feel more in tune with your body and ease any discomfort. Massaging areas like the back, shoulders, and feet can provide relief from pregnancy-related aches and pains, while also creating a sensual atmosphere that fosters closeness and reduces discomfort during intimacy.

7. Listen to Your Body

Pregnancy is a time of constant change, and your body’s needs and sensitivities will fluctuate throughout. Listening to your body is essential to reducing discomfort during sex. If something doesn’t feel right or causes pain, don’t hesitate to stop and reassess. Every pregnancy is unique, and what feels good one day may not feel the same the next. Being attuned to your body and its signals will help you avoid unnecessary discomfort and allow you to enjoy sex more fully. Communicate your feelings to your partner and don’t push through discomfort just for the sake of maintaining intimacy.

8. Address Emotional Stress

Pregnancy can be an emotional rollercoaster, and emotional stress can often manifest physically, including in your sex life. Addressing emotional stress through relaxation techniques, mindfulness, or counseling can significantly reduce sexual discomfort. If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body, it’s important to take time to care for your mental and emotional well-being. Stress can cause physical tension and decrease libido, so taking steps to manage your stress levels can have a positive impact on your sex life. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, and talking through your feelings with your partner or a therapist can help alleviate emotional strain and create a more enjoyable sexual experience.

9. Use Pillows for Support

As your belly grows, finding comfortable positions for intimacy can become more challenging. Using pillows for support can help ease discomfort and provide extra cushioning during intercourse. Place pillows under your back, hips, or between your legs to help support your body and take the pressure off sensitive areas. Pregnancy pillows can also be a helpful addition, as they are designed to support the belly and back during sleep and can be repurposed for added comfort during sex. By creating a supportive environment with pillows, you can find positions that are more comfortable and allow for deeper relaxation.

10. Focus on Non-Sexual Intimacy

If penetrative sex is uncomfortable, it’s important to remember that there are many other ways to experience intimacy with your partner. Non-sexual forms of intimacy like cuddling, kissing, or simply spending quality time together can help maintain your connection without the need for intercourse. Focusing on these forms of affection can relieve the pressure to engage in sexual activity when you’re not feeling up to it. Physical closeness in any form is important for relationship satisfaction, and nurturing non-sexual intimacy can help sustain your bond throughout pregnancy.

11. Exercise Regularly

Engaging in regular, moderate exercise during pregnancy can improve overall circulation, increase energy, and reduce common pregnancy discomforts like back pain and muscle tension. Exercise also promotes a healthier libido by boosting blood flow to the pelvic region. Activities like prenatal yoga, walking, and swimming can improve flexibility and stamina, making it easier to find comfortable positions during sex. Consult with your healthcare provider to determine which exercises are safe for your pregnancy stage.

12. Be Patient with Yourself

Pregnancy is a time of immense change, and it’s important to be patient and gentle with yourself as your body adjusts. If sex feels uncomfortable or if your libido fluctuates, know that it’s normal. Allow yourself the space to feel what you’re feeling without judgment. It’s okay to take a break from sexual activity or modify your approach to intimacy based on how you feel day to day. Understanding that pregnancy affects every woman differently and that it’s okay to set boundaries will help reduce stress and discomfort surrounding intimacy.

13. Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance

During pregnancy, sexual encounters may feel different due to the physical changes your body is undergoing. Focusing on pleasure rather than performance is key to reducing discomfort. Let go of any expectations or pressure to “perform” and instead concentrate on what feels good. You may need to spend more time exploring what brings you pleasure, and that’s okay. By approaching intimacy with a mindset of exploration and relaxation, you can reduce any discomfort associated with trying to meet expectations and focus on enjoying the experience.

14. Seek Professional Guidance When Needed

If sexual discomfort becomes persistent or is accompanied by pain, bleeding, or other unusual symptoms, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a healthcare professional. Your doctor or midwife can help determine whether the discomfort is a normal part of pregnancy or if there are any underlying concerns that need to be addressed. Additionally, a sex therapist or relationship counselor can provide valuable advice and support for couples struggling with intimacy issues during pregnancy. Seeking professional help can relieve concerns and provide you with the tools to enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life during this special time.

15. Embrace Changes in Your Body

Finally, one of the most important ways to reduce sexual discomfort is to embrace the changes in your body and learn to appreciate its incredible ability to grow and nurture new life. Many women feel self-conscious about the changes their bodies undergo during pregnancy, but embracing those changes can lead to greater self-confidence and improved intimacy. Celebrate the beauty of your pregnant body and the amazing things it’s doing. Feeling good about yourself can enhance your sexual experiences and help you connect more deeply with your partner.

What to Avoid During Intimacy While Pregnant

While maintaining intimacy during pregnancy is important, there are some activities and practices that should be avoided to prevent unnecessary discomfort, complications, or injury.

1. Avoid Deep Penetration in Later Stages

As your pregnancy progresses, deep penetration can become uncomfortable or even painful, especially in the third trimester. Adjusting positions or using pillows for support can help, but avoid positions that allow for excessive depth that may put pressure on your abdomen or cause discomfort.

2. Avoid Rough or Vigorous Intercourse

Gentle, mindful lovemaking is key during pregnancy. Rough or vigorous intercourse can lead to discomfort, spotting, or, in some cases, even trigger contractions. Focus on slow, gentle movements to ensure comfort and safety.

3. Avoid Unstable Positions

During pregnancy, your body’s center of gravity changes, making certain positions potentially unstable or uncomfortable. Avoid positions where you may lose balance or strain your muscles. Stick to positions that allow you to feel supported and comfortable.

4. Avoid Sexual Activity if Advised by a Doctor

If your healthcare provider advises you to refrain from sexual activity due to conditions like placenta previa, cervical incompetence, or risk of preterm labor, it’s important to follow their recommendations closely. Always prioritize your and your baby’s health.

Conclusion: Navigating Intimacy During Pregnancy

Sexual discomfort during pregnancy is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to diminish the joy and connection you share with your partner. By communicating openly, experimenting with comfortable positions, and taking steps to care for both your physical and emotional well-being, you can navigate this time with ease. Remember that each pregnancy is different, and there is no right or wrong way to approach intimacy—what matters most is finding what works for you and your partner. By following these 15 tips, you can reduce discomfort and continue to enjoy a fulfilling and intimate relationship throughout your pregnancy.