While comparing ourselves with others may seem natural, even healthy, in order to integrate, evolve and know where we stand, comparison is also and above all a source of envy, of judgments, negative thoughts about oneself and therefore a source of low self-esteem. Here are 10 tips to stop comparing yourself to others.
Identify your strengths
Identifying your strengths, qualities, successes and resources is essential to stop comparing yourself with others. Indeed, it allows you to get rid of the feeling that others are doing better, have a better life or accomplishing more than you. You have to realize that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. While someone might be good at one thing, they may not be as good at another. Thus, the goal for you is to focus on your own strengths in order to achieve success in whatever interest you might have.
Get to know yourself
To be able to identify your strengths, it is necessary to know yourself better, to know your tastes, your desires, your values, your priorities, what makes you happy or unhappy. Truth is, comparing yourself with other people based on apparent success is not usually a good measure of quality of life. Yes, you may not be as rich as your neighbor, but do you really want to work 18 hours a day under pressure? Would you really like his life? Or would you prefer to have time to spend with your family and friends? What exactly are your goals? You might already have them without even noticing.
Practicing gratitude allows you to focus on what is positive right now in your life rather than ruminating on the past or thinking about what might be better in the future. Jotting down or just thinking about the things you are grateful for on a daily basis allows you to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
Take a step back
To stop comparing yourself to others, you also need to know how to take a step back from what you are shown, especially on social networks. Are other people’s lives really that perfect? Is this photogenic couple doing so well? Was their vacation so heavenly or was it just the angle of the picture? And still, do you really want your life to be like an Instagram feed?
Keep in mind, people only show you on social media what they want you to see. Nobody’s life is 100 percent perfect. No matter how wonderful and “beautiful” things might look, they too experience disappointment, failures, rejections, feisty arguments, etc.
Surround yourself with the right people
It is essential to surround yourself with people who uplift you and encourage you in what you do. If you have low self-esteem and are surrounded by people who put themselves forward and put you in a form of competition, you will never feel up to the task.
Inspire yourself without comparing yourself
You have to differentiate between admiration and envy. Envying someone’s situation will not get you going, it only produces negative feelings. On the other hand, admiring a person and being inspired by their journey, their achievements can help you learn, to surpass yourself, to achieve a goal.
Accept yourself as you are
You have your baggage, your fears, your flaws, your insecurities. They all makes you who you are. From the negative, positive things are born. While it is essential to improve on the things that can be improved on, it also important to differentiate from what can and what cannot. Indeed, somethings cannot be change. They are the fabric of who you are. You have to accept them and stop wanting to be perfect, no one is. Embrace your imperfections!
Take the time to identify the people, things, or situations that are causing dissatisfaction in your life and pushing you to compare yourself negatively with others. Take note of how they affect you. Be are aware of them. Then, avoid them. Again, focus instead on the comparisons that are useful to you, the ones that inspire you, such as human qualities that you like in certain people or activities that allow you to improve your well-being.
Be king to yourself
Be kind to yourself! Give yourself compliments after accomplishing a goal. And avoid being harsh on yourself when things do not go as planned. As we have said before, failures are part of life and how you approach them will make it or break it for your general happiness. A good exercise is to take note of your successes and reward yourself accordingly.
Share your failures
While life has its share of successes, it also contains its share of failures. But the good news is that everyone is in the same boat. Even the person who seems to have the most perfect life has experienced setbacks and failures in life. Take the first step and share your bad experiences (with the right people of course!), You will see that others will in turn confide their failures in you.
Mandell is currently working towards a medical degree from the University of Central Florida. His main passions include kayaking, playing soccer and tasting good food. He covers mostly science, health and environmental stories for the Scientific Origin.